sᴍᴜᴛ ɪɴʙᴏx

[chemex]

because i am a ho and i write a ho. this post will probably pretty exclusively be expiation shuake fuckery, no pun intended, and i'm leaving it unlocked solely so it can, if i'm brave enough, be used as bonus AC. don't be weird, i'm specifically making a separate post for nsfw content so nobody has to see it if they aren't looking for it.

anyway, cw for smut and a lot of kinks, some of which are probably poorly negotiated if discussed at all. you've been warned.

Comments

[murderingjustice]

[Miraculously vanishing cum!

When the sound of zipper pulled back down reaches Goro's ears, he opens his eyes just enough that he can peek under his lashes when Akira lines his cock against his own. His appearance and built is something he's never really felt insecure about, as he knows he's pretty gorgeous (he puts wayy to much effort for that), but having their cocks placed against each other like this really highlights the difference in their size. Fucking Akira and his stupid horse dick, really.

The friction earns a strangled moan from him, his own erection raising back up ever so slowly but surely. Goro tries to swallow, but the pressure on his throat prevents it and makes the saliva pool on his mouth, dripping slightly from the corner of his mouth. So, yes. He's literally drooling.]

[chemex]

[At least Goro didn't see fit to actually call Akira out on his size, he's actually remarkably shy about being hung like a fucking horse. At least he knows Goro has the... erm, capacity for it, and seems to enjoy the challenge.]

[Akira licks his own lips and lets up on Goro's throat just enough to let him swallow when he feels him attempt the motion, stroking two fingers along the sides of his throat to encourage it. He gets a hell of a thrill out of watching him drool anyway, loving reducing the prim and sophisticated Goro Akechi to a drooling mess in a way only he will ever see.] Tell me what you want, babe.

look, actual choking icon.

[murderingjustice]

[A wet, gurgling sound erupts from Goro's throat along with motions of fingers. He manages to swallow the saliva gathering on top of his tongue, followed by a strained cough as his Adam's apple moves against the pressing fingers. Hot tears form over his misty eyes, threatening to fall off.

He's starting to feel a little light-headed from the lack of proper air, making it hard to think straight. What he wants? He wants more. For Akira to kiss him. To have him impale him with that dick of his. To wreck him completely. But he can only think of one word]

T-Tighter.

how tf did i miss this in my inbox

[chemex]

[It sends an electric shock down his arms from where the sound weakly reverberates through his palms, and Akira feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he shifts. It's hard to balance, because he doesn't want to move his hands from Goro's neck yet, but he also wants to get more going on in their southern hemisphere, but he manages. It's a bit of trial and error, shifting his hips and poking around with his dick, but when he finds a good angle to just barely press the head of his dick against Goro's entrance, he puts pressure on his throat, too.]

listen,.. sometimes feelings triumph the smut

[murderingjustice]

[Goro's eyes shot wide open, and all of the sudden his senses go blank. Eyes drawing white and ears muffling down any sound. The blood is now gathering on his head, is entire face turning into rosy color. It's a small miracle that, now with his circulation is blocked by the stern fingers around his neck, his cock is standing up hard and full of blood, already leaking with some precome.

And as the hold tightens so does Goro's body, his flight-fight reflexes kicking in. The tension makes his hips buck up and back stretch in arch, bending like a bow. His grip on Akira's forearm getting tight and harsh.]

honestly i think i just cleared a notif while drugged last week

[chemex]

[Akira's own face is a warm rosy hue, flooded with fondness for Goro's state, and the trust placed in him for the situation. His mouth pulls sharp at one corner and his lids fall half closed as he rocks his hips against Goro's once he's done writhing.]

Don't forget to have me stop, I'd hate for this to be your last hurrah.

here comes the edit

[murderingjustice]

[The fingers stay around his neck, restricting and blocking his airways. His body is fully on alert and fighting against the pressure. He keeps gagging and spasming under him. There's a misty veil over his eyes, obscuring his vision. Even his hearing seems to deafen the longer the choking goes on.

He barely hears Akira's words, but it doesn't matter. He's not going to back out. Mouth gaping open, Goro closes his eyes and tries to lean his head back while squeezing hard on Akira's forearm]

[chemex]

[Akira lets up, but only just, and only for a moment before the pressure returns, his hips still rocking gently against Goro's back end. He's specifically pushing Goro, trying to make sure he'll actually stop him if things get to be too much. There'll be trouble if he won't, and Akira knows well enough to stop after a certain point, but he hopes Goro will have the sense to tap out on his own.]

[murderingjustice]

[The noise that escapes from him when the fingers loosen around him is just awful. Croaky yet wet gurgle, with spit and saliva bubbling between his lips. The pause isn't long enough for the high to hit him just yet, the pressure returning with an abrupt force.

Oh, uh. This is getting dangerous. While Goro trusts Akira not to do any serious or permanent damage, there is a dark voice within him thinking how easy it'd be. Akira would only need to shift his angle just a little and add more weight on his grip and then it'd be lights out. For good. Now Goro is hardly suicidal but it isn't his first time flirting with death, gambling with his own life. There is something tempting in it, almost intoxicating.

Goro's can feel his body growing numb, the sounds muffling down around him and he can barely hold his thoughts together. It's almost scary, panic bristling against his chest as he keeps losing control of his body. He opens his eyes, vision struggling with focusing on his boyfriend. Then his eyes roll back, going unseeing.

Fuck, he's so close to losing his consciousness.. Just a little bit more and --

The panic kicks in, the part of his brain not wanting to go under is screaming for him to take an action. So, he moves his index finger just enough to tap Akira's forearm three times.]

[chemex]

[When Goro's eyes roll back, Akira's shoulders tense and he almost draws back on his own. The tapping against his forearm is a welcome motion and he releases his neck entirely, moving both hands instead to scoop him up and forward so he can breathe easier. It also puts him resting against Akira's own chest, so he can't see the panic in his own features, but also so he doesn't have to support himself.]

[murderingjustice]

[With his throat now free Goro's reflex kick him into taking a deep breath for the first time in a moment and.. yeah, that is mistake. The sudden burst of air burns against his sore throat, setting his lungs on fire. He ends up hacking a violent cough against Akira's shirt, spit and tears (which definitely are flooding out of his eyes atm) staining the fabric.

He feels so light headed, his body still being disconnected from him.]

[chemex]

[Akira just holds him, turning his head to press gentle kisses along his temple and in his hair.] Take your time. You held on longer than I expected.

[murderingjustice]

[Goro keeps catching his breath between coughs and spitting, his chest rising unevenly. But, after a minute or so he does get it under control enough. He lifts his trembling hands to grasp on Akira's arms, burying his face in his chest.]

'm... [His voice cracks, sounding similar to someone dragging a fork over plate's surface. Goro swallows and tries again.] S.. Sorry. I thought I wan--..

[He croaks, feeling a sense of shame twisting his guts. He almost went under. Almost made Akira to do something he would've regretted .]

Sorry. [Also why tears aren't stopping..]

[chemex]

[His hold tightens, securely, and he makes a shh sound.] You're okay. I've got you. [He wouldn't have choked him out completely. He was about to release him when his eyes rolled back, honestly-- the main difference is if he'd had to stop without Goro telling him to he'd have been upset with Goro about it.]

[This way, it proves that Goro does, somewhere deep inside himself, want to live, even if it's hard.]

[Akira presses another kiss to his temple.] I've got you.

[murderingjustice]

[It was so close that he didn't do it, allowing the scene play out and walking on the edge of the knife. But he hadn't and tapped out of it, preserving his safety.

Goro isn't usually much of a cryer. He's learned to take everything thrown at him, adding more layers on the wall around his heart. But right now he can't stop it and keeps bawling against Akira, clinging on him like his own life depended on it. Seeking that safety and warmth of the embrace, all the while whispering broken "sorrys"]

[chemex]

[And Akira just keeps shushing him gently, slowly rocking them back and forth.] Don't be sorry, love, it's all right. Let it out.

[Some small part of him is touched, and not so much happy as relieved that Goro has shattered this way-- Lord knows the guy needs a good sobbing breakdown, after all he's been through.]

[murderingjustice]

[Goro keeps curling further into Akira's lap, seeking all the physical comfort that he can. He feels so small all of the sudden, bawling his eyes out and smearing snot and other nasty liquids all over his boyfriend's shirt. But at the same time he doesn't care. All he knows is that Akira is same as safe, that he can truly lay it bare here.

He hiccups in middle of his mantra of sorrys, voice squeaking here and there. Then, shaking his head he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down even a little bit]

W-was it... Was it g-good? [Another broken sob.] W-were I good? [The last word is hushed out so quiet that it can barely count even as a whisper.]

[chemex]

[The broken little questions put a vice grip around Akira's heart, and he pulls Goro closer still, peppering kisses all over his head and what of his face Goro's hiding allows him to access.] You were great, Goro, you're always great.

[murderingjustice]

[The response does manage to calm him down a bit, the hiccups and sobs quieting down while tears still remained in his eyes. Good. He was afraid there for a moment that he had somehow managed to rope Akira into something he found unpleasant, forcing him to entertain his macabre fantasies.

Overall, he's not even sure where all this is coming from.
Are the tears reaction from almost passing out? Or from him not not being able to allow himself to go under? Or perhaps from the notion of submitting to someone else, allowing himself to be owned? Maybe all of them, or maybe it's something completely else. Because again, he can't stop thinking what she would've thought.

Goro peels his face off Akira's chest, lifting his chin up to search for contact.]

I.. never thought I'd be doing this with anyone. Or that I'd f-feel like this.

[chemex]

[Akira's own eyes are a little misty-- he's a bleeding heart, and Goro being this overwhelmed pinches something in his chest. He smiles, regardless, bringing a hand up to cup Goro's cheek.]

Feelings suck. Like, a lot. Is "this" being in a relationship, or specifically the choking?

[murderingjustice]

[Closing his eyes, Goro leans in to the touch, looking to be cradled in Akira's arms. It's not first time he's shown vulnerability around Akira, but it is probably first time he's seeking for the comfort and love -- nearly begging for it.

It's in moment like these when all of his rage and anger towards the world and his own person, leaving him only to focus on Akira and the sound of his beating heart. Filling him with knowledge about the fact that he, indeed, does love this person.]

Relationship, idiot. [He coughs.]...and sex.

[chemex]

[Akira rumbles a soft laugh, reaching his other hand up to hold the other side of Goro's jaw. His thumbs smooth against his cheeks, pushing away remaining tears, and his tone is gentle, arguably viscous with fondness.]

I'm glad you trust me with both.

[murderingjustice]

.. Only you. [He whispers softly, sincerity seeping through his words. Akira is the only one Goro's ever truly wanted and trusted, only one he could ever think of giving part of himself like this.

His stupid fated rival.

Goro sighs quietly, feeling so loved and cared for here with Akira holding him and wiping away his tears. There's a dull headache growing from the crying and his eyes feel heavy and sore. He could very well fall asleep here. If it wasn't for one fact.]


.. Let's continue. Please. I want to feel you.

[chemex]

[He rumbles again, keeping his hold on his face and moving to kiss him, gently.] You sure? You look tired.

[murderingjustice]

[Goro brings one hand behind Akira's neck, pulling him closer as the kiss. He whines when the kiss ends, giving the other's lips a quick lick as if to chase the taste.]

Yes. I want to.. Besides. [He clears his voice a bit, trying to summon previous cockiness to his expression.] You weren't going to stop until I'm fully yours.