[The statement isn't one he's unused to. Goro typically results to claims of violence when in a vulnerable state, in lieu of something small in a state of fear puffing up to appear larger. He wants to tease him about it, maybe stop moving his hand just to watch him squirm, and really that's probably what he should have done. It would have made it a competition, made it a more even playing ground. Been more rival-like.]
[But he doesn't, and he doesn't expect Goro to use momentum to bounce up off the bed and grab him, either. He goes easily, shifting his wrist and pumping his hand over Goro faster still, until he's splattering spend between their bodies, huddled close together. Akira doesn't fully realize how close he is until he feels that, until pain blooms behind his eyes at the bruising nature of Goro's kiss, and he releases a shattered cry into their mouths as his hips drive home a final time.]
[He's shaking horribly when he's through, shivering as if cold, but he's the exact opposite. His breath comes in gasping lungfulls, forehead pressed to Goro's and eyes screwed shut, and he doesn't realize he's repeating Goro's name in a fractured whisper.]
[He doesn't feel even slightest remorse for denying Akira of his wish. No matter how selfish it is. But he also needed to have Akira close and to be able to touch him. Otherwise he fears that he might fall too hard and break down, having to put himself back together on his own. Irrational fear, similar to what had made him panic last time.
The cry passing from Akira's lips to Goro's, along with feeling the body shiver and shake above him only prolongs his own orgasm. He wraps himself around Akira and holds him close, sharing the same breath as they both seem to ride the wave together. He only realizes that Akira came inside of him when it's over and.. oh. It feels weird. Only a little gross.
It takes a good moment for reality to catch up on him. And meanwhile waiting for that to happen Goro idly combs through Akira's hair with his fingers, trying to catch a breath.]
[Akira can't quite seem to catch his own breath, even as he comes down from the high of orgasm, and he puts tension in his limbs trying to draw back from Goro much sooner than one would figure. He wants to be the one who tries to bask in the afterglow, maybe coerce some cuddles from his unwilling partner, but his brain is still too loud.]
[Pulling out is... unpleasant, for both of them. Akira makes an aborted grunt of sound, grimacing at the mess, and sits back on his haunches to look Goro in the face for the first time in a while. He forgets to mask the concern on his face.] ...okay? [Does he mean the sex, Goro's mental state, if he's in pain? Who knows.]
[Goro doesn't want to let Akira go. Because he knows that once they're separated the spell will be broken and the bliss tying them together will end. Well, nonetheless he allows him to sit up and pull out, grunting softly in discomfort. He can feel the droplets of cum trickle down from his hole. Yeah no. That's gross after all.]
..Warn me next time. [He breathes out, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead.]
[Warn me next time. It's a simple statement, an easy request, but it becomes an ugly beacon of you did this wrong in the State Akira's mind has entered. He processes the words, tries to circle himself back out of the doom spiral he's in, fails, and nods, breaking eye contact and shifting backward off the bed.]
I'll get something to help you clean up. [He just needs to get away for a minute.
[It's just his usual whining. The everyday discontent with the world, so he doesn't think Akira would be taking it personally. After all he had just threatened to mutilate him. So, failing to notice the change in Akira's demeanor Goro just nods.]
Okay. [He breathes out and brings his wrist to cover his eyes.] Water, too.
[He's fine-- he's not fine, but he just needs a minute. He practically bolts for the bathroom and locks himself in there, taking a moment to just breathe. It lets him think the whole situation over, lets him calm the fuck down, and even if he sinks to sit bare-assed on the tile floor against the door, his heartbeat is less loud and in his throat. He stands again, splashes his face, wipes himself down with a damp towel, and comes out with another for Goro.]
[He's a little pale, all things considered, but he tosses the towel and moves to the kitchenette, pouring them both a glass of water and returning with them, wordlessly offering one to Goro.]
[The sudden dash doesn't go unnoticed by Goro but he doesn't think too much of it. He just flips to his side and blindly reaches for the blanket that was discarded earlier. Only now that he's coming off from the adrenaline does the injury remind him of its presence. Feeling sore and radiating a dull ache, nothing he can't handle but overall just unpleasant.
He almost doesn't notice Akira returning at first, but when the glass of water is presented to him he uncurls and sits up to take it. ]
Thanks. [He mutters and finally takes a proper look at Akira, feeling suddenly very sober and awake. Something's not right.
'What's wrong?' and 'I'm sorry both sprung to his mind as he watches his partner. Unable to find the right words he takes a quick sip of his water and reaches out to Akira's hand.]
[He murmurs something wordless, nodding and sipping his own water, only jumping slightly when Goro reaches for his hand. He looks from it to his face, eyebrows raised, immediately seeking. Goro needs something, right?]
[He sits abruptly when tugged, folding to take up as little space as he can and frowning at the request. Shaking his head, he takes another sip of his water.]
...think I'm just overwhelmed. We just did that, you know? It's a lot. [It's not... untrue. It's a watered down version, but he can't quite articulate what his issue is, except that he simultaneously wants to cry until he's hoarse and meld himself against Goro until they can't be distinguished from one another and not move for a while. It's a State.]
Hm. [Goro hums and takes a drink from his water, frowning a little. It is? Probably, so yes. Sex has a long time ago been disillusioned within Goro's mind. A lot happens during it but it's hardly as magical as people put it out to be. Maybe that's what's going on with Akira at the moment?
After emptying half of his water Goro scoots over on the matters and reaches out to place the glass on the nightstand so that he can lean on Akira's back properly.]
Post-coital tristesse. [He begins, petting Akira's hair as he speaks.] A syndrome where one feels anxiety, sadness or fear after an orgasm. A lot happens in our brains when we reach the climax in sexual intercourse. We release bunch of hormones that bring out different reactions and feelings within us. That's why so many might think they are in love after having an orgasm. And why spies, assassins or thieves use the 'honey pot' strategy. It leaves us vulnerable. Those who've gone through prior traumatic experiences with relationships or suffer from mental health issues are known to react more negatively.
[He only hears about half of what Goro explains, the weight of him against his back and his hand in his hair as unexpected as it is soothing. He figured Goro would be frustrated, because it was a frustrating thing for your partner to get jittery and stressed out after a pretty solid fuck, wasn't it? He turns inward and puts his head against Goro's shoulder, curling against him as much as he can, given they're roughly the same size.]
...y'sound like a textbook, [He offers gently, twining their fingers.] Sorry, for being weird. [His voice is small, a little fragile, which is probably a lot of the reason for the apology.]
Excuse me for trying to help. [He brings their hands to his lips and places a soft kiss on Akira's knuckles. Because this is only way he knows how to help, offering an explanation so that they maybe could work on it together later? Or who knows. He accepts Akira in, holding him on his arms.] It's quite common phenomenon, even if it's not talked much. Sorry to burst your bubble.
No, it-- [He shrinks away, shaking his head, looking up from his shoulder.] ...didn't mean it negatively, 's just funny. I like when you talk wikipedia to me. [The kiss to his knuckles makes heat swell behind his eyes in a way that sends his heartbeat right back into his throat, and he closes his eyes against a sting he refuses to let become unexplained tears, tucking himself close against Akechi's neck.] 's fine.
I have more where that came from. [Goro keeps his voice calm, trying to sound soothing and reassuring. It's so out of his wheelhouse to try be 'safe' for someone when he's spent his entire life fighting and tearing people down that he can't help but feel but awkward as he continues to pet Akira's curly hair, placing a brief kiss on his forehead.
But this is something he can at least somewhat understand, even if it's on textual level. This is Akira's brain malfunctioning. Not a meltdown upon seeing some stupid scar. This he can handle.]
[He mumbles a vague "I don't know" sound into Goro's collarbone, shaking his head and just breathing for a moment, sitting up once he's sure he's got his breathing under control.] 'm okay. [He will be. He's just fussy.] Can we just..., you should clean up, maybe we can. Take a bath or something. [He just wants to sit and try to not think.]
Mm..[He responds with a hum, drawing lazy circles on the skin back of his neck. It's okay, there doesn't need to be any coherent answer.
When Akira pulls away Goro studies carefully his face before nodding. Yeah. He's sticky and gross at the moment, covered in sweat and cum while still holding some of Akira's inside.]
[He laughs, a thin little thing that doesn't actually hold much humor or warmth, but he tried, and nods, bumping his forehead carefully against Goro's.] You gonna be okay to get there? [He means both in the sense of "does your ass hurt" and "are you going to leak obscene juices all over the floor".]
[He pulls a face at him. You're so disgusting, Akira Kurusu.]
Of course. You can't bring the bath here. [okay, his ass kinda hurts and his me legs are still feeling sore. But at least these past few weeks gave them a good practice for this.]
I hope you're not planning on carrying me. [because that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.]
It'll be okay. [and to prove a point, he moves next to Akira and swings his legs over the edge. But when he pushes himself up he notices that okay, maybe he bit more than he could chew as his legs feel wobbly and weak beneath him. He doesn't fall but well.. it's not far from that.]
[it is pretty embarrassing to find himself needing help with moving again. But at least this time it wasn't because of something dramatic and life threatening as taking a bullet.][He sighs and shakes his head briefly. Then, he looks up from his legs and turns to look at Akira.]
Still weirdly inclined to cry for no reason, from what I can tell, but I probably just need to sleep. Helping you helps, I think? [He's still pretty jumpy and uncertain, actually.]
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[But he doesn't, and he doesn't expect Goro to use momentum to bounce up off the bed and grab him, either. He goes easily, shifting his wrist and pumping his hand over Goro faster still, until he's splattering spend between their bodies, huddled close together. Akira doesn't fully realize how close he is until he feels that, until pain blooms behind his eyes at the bruising nature of Goro's kiss, and he releases a shattered cry into their mouths as his hips drive home a final time.]
[He's shaking horribly when he's through, shivering as if cold, but he's the exact opposite. His breath comes in gasping lungfulls, forehead pressed to Goro's and eyes screwed shut, and he doesn't realize he's repeating Goro's name in a fractured whisper.]
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The cry passing from Akira's lips to Goro's, along with feeling the body shiver and shake above him only prolongs his own orgasm. He wraps himself around Akira and holds him close, sharing the same breath as they both seem to ride the wave together. He only realizes that Akira came inside of him when it's over and.. oh. It feels weird. Only a little gross.
It takes a good moment for reality to catch up on him. And meanwhile waiting for that to happen Goro idly combs through Akira's hair with his fingers, trying to catch a breath.]
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[Pulling out is... unpleasant, for both of them. Akira makes an aborted grunt of sound, grimacing at the mess, and sits back on his haunches to look Goro in the face for the first time in a while. He forgets to mask the concern on his face.] ...okay? [Does he mean the sex, Goro's mental state, if he's in pain? Who knows.]
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..Warn me next time. [He breathes out, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead.]
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I'll get something to help you clean up. [He just needs to get away for a minute.
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Okay. [He breathes out and brings his wrist to cover his eyes.] Water, too.
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[He's a little pale, all things considered, but he tosses the towel and moves to the kitchenette, pouring them both a glass of water and returning with them, wordlessly offering one to Goro.]
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He almost doesn't notice Akira returning at first, but when the glass of water is presented to him he uncurls and sits up to take it. ]
Thanks. [He mutters and finally takes a proper look at Akira, feeling suddenly very sober and awake. Something's not right.
'What's wrong?' and 'I'm sorry both sprung to his mind as he watches his partner. Unable to find the right words he takes a quick sip of his water and reaches out to Akira's hand.]
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I'm not good at this so you have to use your words. Tell me what's in your mind.
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...think I'm just overwhelmed. We just did that, you know? It's a lot. [It's not... untrue. It's a watered down version, but he can't quite articulate what his issue is, except that he simultaneously wants to cry until he's hoarse and meld himself against Goro until they can't be distinguished from one another and not move for a while. It's a State.]
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After emptying half of his water Goro scoots over on the matters and reaches out to place the glass on the nightstand so that he can lean on Akira's back properly.]
Post-coital tristesse. [He begins, petting Akira's hair as he speaks.] A syndrome where one feels anxiety, sadness or fear after an orgasm. A lot happens in our brains when we reach the climax in sexual intercourse. We release bunch of hormones that bring out different reactions and feelings within us. That's why so many might think they are in love after having an orgasm. And why spies, assassins or thieves use the 'honey pot' strategy. It leaves us vulnerable. Those who've gone through prior traumatic experiences with relationships or suffer from mental health issues are known to react more negatively.
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...y'sound like a textbook, [He offers gently, twining their fingers.] Sorry, for being weird. [His voice is small, a little fragile, which is probably a lot of the reason for the apology.]
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But this is something he can at least somewhat understand, even if it's on textual level. This is Akira's brain malfunctioning. Not a meltdown upon seeing some stupid scar. This he can handle.]
What do you need?
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When Akira pulls away Goro studies carefully his face before nodding. Yeah. He's sticky and gross at the moment, covered in sweat and cum while still holding some of Akira's inside.]
We smell awful.
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Of course. You can't bring the bath here. [okay, his ass kinda hurts and his me legs are still feeling sore. But at least these past few weeks gave them a good practice for this.]
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It'll be okay. [and to prove a point, he moves next to Akira and swings his legs over the edge. But when he pushes himself up he notices that okay, maybe he bit more than he could chew as his legs feel wobbly and weak beneath him. He doesn't fall but well.. it's not far from that.]
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How are you doing?
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