[It sours his stomach, just a little, that Goro so immediately brushes him off. He's fine knowing he's head over heels for the guy and it'll never be discussed, fine with it never being expressed on the off chance that Goro actually shares the sentiment. But that Goro is so quick to discard himself, in the form of refusing Akira's fondness... Hurts. It's not that he wants it returned, it's that he wants Goro to permit it. To allow himself to be coveted.]
[He matches pace with the rougher motions when encouraged, regardless. If he makes a point of not looking Goro in the eye now, well. It's just so he doesn't disregard his insistence that he not look at him like he's precious.]
[It all stems from that same part of him that harbors an unregistered wish for this to hurt. The part of his brain that doesn't see anything worthy in himself and seeks out the self-destruction, even if it's through sex. It'd only be right.
But right now that desire is being pushed below the surface by much more stronger wish.]
More, Akira. More. [He demands while gasping. He wants more of this. He wants to feel the brilliant fire within Akira to seep into him and to feel alive.]
[At least he can't say this doesn't feel good, despite the maelstrom in his head. It feels a bit like his whole body is being ignited with electric currents, hair standing on end and figurative flames licking his everything. Goro's voice magnifies it, and the molten heat blurs his vision. He closes his eyes, only realizing in doing so that his lashes were damp, and resolutely putting that reaction into the garbage.]
[He shifts his hips, changing the angle and crashing into Goro again and again, feeling the spool of heat behind his navel start to unravel.]
[They can stress over their fucked up dynamic later. Arguing is the last thing on Goro's mind for once.
Unlike the last time when receiving a blowjob Goro doesn't really bother silencing himself. Each thrust is met with a whiny moan, hushed curse or bitten demand to go faster, do more, be rougher. He's insatiable now that he's found source of the hot pleasure, only focused on chasing it and feeling good. It's funny in a way, earlier he would've only scoffed at the thought of having sweaty hot body panting above him.]
--ah! Fuck! [He almost screams when Akira manages push deep while also brushing his prostate. His eyes roll behind closed lids and stretches his neck out. That's the spot.
His neglected cock feels so heavy and painfully from the pressure building in. He's so close that it almost hurts.]
Akira. [He nearly cries out, licking his lips and tries to breathe. Words are suddenly very hard to do.] Akira.. I need..
[He just hums, opening his eyes and surveying Goro's state but still avoiding making eye contact. One hand shifts from his hip and smooths inward, skirting his dick but making a clear near-pass.] You need...? Tell me.
[Even caught in his head about it like he is, he channels Joker, keeps his voice steady and commanding. He did it so many times in Palaces, being unsure and nervous about their proceedings, but letting red leather on his hands change him into what his team needed. There was no leather, here, but he would let the heat between them change him into what Goro needed.]
[Goro Akechi isn't an easy person. He's constantly fighting everything and biting the hand trying to reach for him. He doesn't submit or ask for favors, it's not just in his nature. But there's something in the Akira's voice that makes him halt and carefully open his eyes, watching the other behind his long, wet lashes. His entire face is covered in a hedonistic flush, lips puff from all the kissing and biting.
Nothing makes much sense anymore. Other than that he needs release. Well, Akira had promised to fuck him silly. Quivering, he mouths the words silently in the air before finding his voice again.]
I need you to touch me, you piece of shit. [Despite the hostility of the words they're spoken in a quiet voice, almost like a secret that's being whispered into the dark.]
[He hums again, taking the statement and letting it guide his hand to Goro's neglected dick. He's careful, first, gentle, just sliding his thumb along the underside. He rolls his hips and with the motion takes him into his hand fully, just grasping, until he starts to stroke in earnest with the rhythm of his hips.] It's just us, Goro. Let me see you come undone. [His voice is small-- barely above a whisper, and despite the gravel of it it comes out as more of a plea than a command.]
['Just two of us,' Goro would like to argue that's still too many people! But words won't obey him and neither does his body. Leaving him to wither and squirm under Akira.]
I'll fucking -ahh. I'll gouge your eyes out.[When in doubt rely on the death threats, although he's really lacking the vitriol -- voice ripping out from his chest like a wounded growl.
He keeps bucking his hips up, pace fast and unsteady. Anything to feel more.
At least until it just becomes too much. With his thighs tensing up he feels as his muscles spam around Akira. But he just has to cheat. So, without asking permission he suddenly bounces up from the mattress, just enough to grab Akira from behind back of his neck to pull him down with him into a rough and bruising kiss. Then, and only then he allows himself to drop and reach the climax.
The toe curling sensation rocks his whole body, burning him and making him taut like a wire as the cum shoots off in a hot ribbons. Only when he feels completely empty does his body go lax.]
[The statement isn't one he's unused to. Goro typically results to claims of violence when in a vulnerable state, in lieu of something small in a state of fear puffing up to appear larger. He wants to tease him about it, maybe stop moving his hand just to watch him squirm, and really that's probably what he should have done. It would have made it a competition, made it a more even playing ground. Been more rival-like.]
[But he doesn't, and he doesn't expect Goro to use momentum to bounce up off the bed and grab him, either. He goes easily, shifting his wrist and pumping his hand over Goro faster still, until he's splattering spend between their bodies, huddled close together. Akira doesn't fully realize how close he is until he feels that, until pain blooms behind his eyes at the bruising nature of Goro's kiss, and he releases a shattered cry into their mouths as his hips drive home a final time.]
[He's shaking horribly when he's through, shivering as if cold, but he's the exact opposite. His breath comes in gasping lungfulls, forehead pressed to Goro's and eyes screwed shut, and he doesn't realize he's repeating Goro's name in a fractured whisper.]
[He doesn't feel even slightest remorse for denying Akira of his wish. No matter how selfish it is. But he also needed to have Akira close and to be able to touch him. Otherwise he fears that he might fall too hard and break down, having to put himself back together on his own. Irrational fear, similar to what had made him panic last time.
The cry passing from Akira's lips to Goro's, along with feeling the body shiver and shake above him only prolongs his own orgasm. He wraps himself around Akira and holds him close, sharing the same breath as they both seem to ride the wave together. He only realizes that Akira came inside of him when it's over and.. oh. It feels weird. Only a little gross.
It takes a good moment for reality to catch up on him. And meanwhile waiting for that to happen Goro idly combs through Akira's hair with his fingers, trying to catch a breath.]
[Akira can't quite seem to catch his own breath, even as he comes down from the high of orgasm, and he puts tension in his limbs trying to draw back from Goro much sooner than one would figure. He wants to be the one who tries to bask in the afterglow, maybe coerce some cuddles from his unwilling partner, but his brain is still too loud.]
[Pulling out is... unpleasant, for both of them. Akira makes an aborted grunt of sound, grimacing at the mess, and sits back on his haunches to look Goro in the face for the first time in a while. He forgets to mask the concern on his face.] ...okay? [Does he mean the sex, Goro's mental state, if he's in pain? Who knows.]
[Goro doesn't want to let Akira go. Because he knows that once they're separated the spell will be broken and the bliss tying them together will end. Well, nonetheless he allows him to sit up and pull out, grunting softly in discomfort. He can feel the droplets of cum trickle down from his hole. Yeah no. That's gross after all.]
..Warn me next time. [He breathes out, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead.]
[Warn me next time. It's a simple statement, an easy request, but it becomes an ugly beacon of you did this wrong in the State Akira's mind has entered. He processes the words, tries to circle himself back out of the doom spiral he's in, fails, and nods, breaking eye contact and shifting backward off the bed.]
I'll get something to help you clean up. [He just needs to get away for a minute.
[It's just his usual whining. The everyday discontent with the world, so he doesn't think Akira would be taking it personally. After all he had just threatened to mutilate him. So, failing to notice the change in Akira's demeanor Goro just nods.]
Okay. [He breathes out and brings his wrist to cover his eyes.] Water, too.
[He's fine-- he's not fine, but he just needs a minute. He practically bolts for the bathroom and locks himself in there, taking a moment to just breathe. It lets him think the whole situation over, lets him calm the fuck down, and even if he sinks to sit bare-assed on the tile floor against the door, his heartbeat is less loud and in his throat. He stands again, splashes his face, wipes himself down with a damp towel, and comes out with another for Goro.]
[He's a little pale, all things considered, but he tosses the towel and moves to the kitchenette, pouring them both a glass of water and returning with them, wordlessly offering one to Goro.]
[The sudden dash doesn't go unnoticed by Goro but he doesn't think too much of it. He just flips to his side and blindly reaches for the blanket that was discarded earlier. Only now that he's coming off from the adrenaline does the injury remind him of its presence. Feeling sore and radiating a dull ache, nothing he can't handle but overall just unpleasant.
He almost doesn't notice Akira returning at first, but when the glass of water is presented to him he uncurls and sits up to take it. ]
Thanks. [He mutters and finally takes a proper look at Akira, feeling suddenly very sober and awake. Something's not right.
'What's wrong?' and 'I'm sorry both sprung to his mind as he watches his partner. Unable to find the right words he takes a quick sip of his water and reaches out to Akira's hand.]
[He murmurs something wordless, nodding and sipping his own water, only jumping slightly when Goro reaches for his hand. He looks from it to his face, eyebrows raised, immediately seeking. Goro needs something, right?]
[He sits abruptly when tugged, folding to take up as little space as he can and frowning at the request. Shaking his head, he takes another sip of his water.]
...think I'm just overwhelmed. We just did that, you know? It's a lot. [It's not... untrue. It's a watered down version, but he can't quite articulate what his issue is, except that he simultaneously wants to cry until he's hoarse and meld himself against Goro until they can't be distinguished from one another and not move for a while. It's a State.]
Hm. [Goro hums and takes a drink from his water, frowning a little. It is? Probably, so yes. Sex has a long time ago been disillusioned within Goro's mind. A lot happens during it but it's hardly as magical as people put it out to be. Maybe that's what's going on with Akira at the moment?
After emptying half of his water Goro scoots over on the matters and reaches out to place the glass on the nightstand so that he can lean on Akira's back properly.]
Post-coital tristesse. [He begins, petting Akira's hair as he speaks.] A syndrome where one feels anxiety, sadness or fear after an orgasm. A lot happens in our brains when we reach the climax in sexual intercourse. We release bunch of hormones that bring out different reactions and feelings within us. That's why so many might think they are in love after having an orgasm. And why spies, assassins or thieves use the 'honey pot' strategy. It leaves us vulnerable. Those who've gone through prior traumatic experiences with relationships or suffer from mental health issues are known to react more negatively.
[He only hears about half of what Goro explains, the weight of him against his back and his hand in his hair as unexpected as it is soothing. He figured Goro would be frustrated, because it was a frustrating thing for your partner to get jittery and stressed out after a pretty solid fuck, wasn't it? He turns inward and puts his head against Goro's shoulder, curling against him as much as he can, given they're roughly the same size.]
...y'sound like a textbook, [He offers gently, twining their fingers.] Sorry, for being weird. [His voice is small, a little fragile, which is probably a lot of the reason for the apology.]
Excuse me for trying to help. [He brings their hands to his lips and places a soft kiss on Akira's knuckles. Because this is only way he knows how to help, offering an explanation so that they maybe could work on it together later? Or who knows. He accepts Akira in, holding him on his arms.] It's quite common phenomenon, even if it's not talked much. Sorry to burst your bubble.
No, it-- [He shrinks away, shaking his head, looking up from his shoulder.] ...didn't mean it negatively, 's just funny. I like when you talk wikipedia to me. [The kiss to his knuckles makes heat swell behind his eyes in a way that sends his heartbeat right back into his throat, and he closes his eyes against a sting he refuses to let become unexplained tears, tucking himself close against Akechi's neck.] 's fine.
I have more where that came from. [Goro keeps his voice calm, trying to sound soothing and reassuring. It's so out of his wheelhouse to try be 'safe' for someone when he's spent his entire life fighting and tearing people down that he can't help but feel but awkward as he continues to pet Akira's curly hair, placing a brief kiss on his forehead.
But this is something he can at least somewhat understand, even if it's on textual level. This is Akira's brain malfunctioning. Not a meltdown upon seeing some stupid scar. This he can handle.]
[He mumbles a vague "I don't know" sound into Goro's collarbone, shaking his head and just breathing for a moment, sitting up once he's sure he's got his breathing under control.] 'm okay. [He will be. He's just fussy.] Can we just..., you should clean up, maybe we can. Take a bath or something. [He just wants to sit and try to not think.]
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[He matches pace with the rougher motions when encouraged, regardless. If he makes a point of not looking Goro in the eye now, well. It's just so he doesn't disregard his insistence that he not look at him like he's precious.]
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But right now that desire is being pushed below the surface by much more stronger wish.]
More, Akira. More. [He demands while gasping. He wants more of this. He wants to feel the brilliant fire within Akira to seep into him and to feel alive.]
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[He shifts his hips, changing the angle and crashing into Goro again and again, feeling the spool of heat behind his navel start to unravel.]
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Unlike the last time when receiving a blowjob Goro doesn't really bother silencing himself. Each thrust is met with a whiny moan, hushed curse or bitten demand to go faster, do more, be rougher. He's insatiable now that he's found source of the hot pleasure, only focused on chasing it and feeling good. It's funny in a way, earlier he would've only scoffed at the thought of having sweaty hot body panting above him.]
--ah! Fuck! [He almost screams when Akira manages push deep while also brushing his prostate. His eyes roll behind closed lids and stretches his neck out. That's the spot.
His neglected cock feels so heavy and painfully from the pressure building in. He's so close that it almost hurts.]
Akira. [He nearly cries out, licking his lips and tries to breathe. Words are suddenly very hard to do.] Akira.. I need..
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[Even caught in his head about it like he is, he channels Joker, keeps his voice steady and commanding. He did it so many times in Palaces, being unsure and nervous about their proceedings, but letting red leather on his hands change him into what his team needed. There was no leather, here, but he would let the heat between them change him into what Goro needed.]
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Nothing makes much sense anymore. Other than that he needs release. Well, Akira had promised to fuck him silly. Quivering, he mouths the words silently in the air before finding his voice again.]
I need you to touch me, you piece of shit. [Despite the hostility of the words they're spoken in a quiet voice, almost like a secret that's being whispered into the dark.]
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I'll fucking -ahh. I'll gouge your eyes out.[When in doubt rely on the death threats, although he's really lacking the vitriol -- voice ripping out from his chest like a wounded growl.
He keeps bucking his hips up, pace fast and unsteady. Anything to feel more.
At least until it just becomes too much. With his thighs tensing up he feels as his muscles spam around Akira. But he just has to cheat. So, without asking permission he suddenly bounces up from the mattress, just enough to grab Akira from behind back of his neck to pull him down with him into a rough and bruising kiss. Then, and only then he allows himself to drop and reach the climax.
The toe curling sensation rocks his whole body, burning him and making him taut like a wire as the cum shoots off in a hot ribbons. Only when he feels completely empty does his body go lax.]
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[But he doesn't, and he doesn't expect Goro to use momentum to bounce up off the bed and grab him, either. He goes easily, shifting his wrist and pumping his hand over Goro faster still, until he's splattering spend between their bodies, huddled close together. Akira doesn't fully realize how close he is until he feels that, until pain blooms behind his eyes at the bruising nature of Goro's kiss, and he releases a shattered cry into their mouths as his hips drive home a final time.]
[He's shaking horribly when he's through, shivering as if cold, but he's the exact opposite. His breath comes in gasping lungfulls, forehead pressed to Goro's and eyes screwed shut, and he doesn't realize he's repeating Goro's name in a fractured whisper.]
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The cry passing from Akira's lips to Goro's, along with feeling the body shiver and shake above him only prolongs his own orgasm. He wraps himself around Akira and holds him close, sharing the same breath as they both seem to ride the wave together. He only realizes that Akira came inside of him when it's over and.. oh. It feels weird. Only a little gross.
It takes a good moment for reality to catch up on him. And meanwhile waiting for that to happen Goro idly combs through Akira's hair with his fingers, trying to catch a breath.]
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[Pulling out is... unpleasant, for both of them. Akira makes an aborted grunt of sound, grimacing at the mess, and sits back on his haunches to look Goro in the face for the first time in a while. He forgets to mask the concern on his face.] ...okay? [Does he mean the sex, Goro's mental state, if he's in pain? Who knows.]
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..Warn me next time. [He breathes out, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead.]
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I'll get something to help you clean up. [He just needs to get away for a minute.
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Okay. [He breathes out and brings his wrist to cover his eyes.] Water, too.
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[He's a little pale, all things considered, but he tosses the towel and moves to the kitchenette, pouring them both a glass of water and returning with them, wordlessly offering one to Goro.]
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He almost doesn't notice Akira returning at first, but when the glass of water is presented to him he uncurls and sits up to take it. ]
Thanks. [He mutters and finally takes a proper look at Akira, feeling suddenly very sober and awake. Something's not right.
'What's wrong?' and 'I'm sorry both sprung to his mind as he watches his partner. Unable to find the right words he takes a quick sip of his water and reaches out to Akira's hand.]
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I'm not good at this so you have to use your words. Tell me what's in your mind.
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...think I'm just overwhelmed. We just did that, you know? It's a lot. [It's not... untrue. It's a watered down version, but he can't quite articulate what his issue is, except that he simultaneously wants to cry until he's hoarse and meld himself against Goro until they can't be distinguished from one another and not move for a while. It's a State.]
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After emptying half of his water Goro scoots over on the matters and reaches out to place the glass on the nightstand so that he can lean on Akira's back properly.]
Post-coital tristesse. [He begins, petting Akira's hair as he speaks.] A syndrome where one feels anxiety, sadness or fear after an orgasm. A lot happens in our brains when we reach the climax in sexual intercourse. We release bunch of hormones that bring out different reactions and feelings within us. That's why so many might think they are in love after having an orgasm. And why spies, assassins or thieves use the 'honey pot' strategy. It leaves us vulnerable. Those who've gone through prior traumatic experiences with relationships or suffer from mental health issues are known to react more negatively.
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...y'sound like a textbook, [He offers gently, twining their fingers.] Sorry, for being weird. [His voice is small, a little fragile, which is probably a lot of the reason for the apology.]
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But this is something he can at least somewhat understand, even if it's on textual level. This is Akira's brain malfunctioning. Not a meltdown upon seeing some stupid scar. This he can handle.]
What do you need?
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