You make it sound like the whole thing was an accident.
[She rolls over, just a little with a soft noise of protest as she pillows her head in her arm and gazes at him. That's... a lot different than it was for her.]
SEES already existed before I even came back to Tatsumi Port Island. The night after I arrived at the dorm, a big Shadow attacked the building. I was able to grab an Evoker and...
[She raises two fingers to her temple in the form of a gun and "fires" it, tilting her head with the imaginary recoil. She's leaving out the fear and the dread and yet, the desire to see what would happen if she pulled that trigger. The acceptance that if it didn't work, she'd die.
She just shrugs.]
Since I had the potential, they wanted me on the team.
Kinda was. I had no idea what I was doing, and then suddenly I was leading a whole rag tag group of misfits.
[He watches her pantomime the Evoker and frowns, sitting up.] Whoa whoa, wait. You shoot yourself in the head with that thing? [He gestures toward her leg, where he last saw the Evoker at the party.]
If you did it was at the party, and please remember how drunk I was, [He's staring at her in an alarmed, owlish sort of way, trying to process the whole "Yeah I shoot myself in the head to summon my Persona(s), neat huh?" mood happening right now.]
[His brain catches back up with her second statement, and his heart skips several beats, less leaping and more bodily yeeting itself into the back of his throat in a way that squashes his voice.] Res-- what sort of researchers? [Adam Kamon is on the backs of his eyelids when he blinks, Takuto Maruki's sweet, disarming smile and as he hands his team boxes of off-brand apple juice--]
[He looks so bewildered. It kind of reminds her of Junpei a little? But none of the others had really seemed to have difficulty comprehending it. Yukari had difficulty doing it at first, but it wasn't so strange. Why would summoning a Persona be easy?
As for the researchers... she shrugs.]
All that stuff was before I joined. It's a really long story about what they were working on... [She makes a bit of a face, rolling back over to stare up at the clouds. Please don't make her talk about it.] Just trust me when I say they're not really around anymore.
[For the most part, anyway. The people who'd been involved in the initial experiments had died in the explosion, but the Kirijo Group presumably still had staff on hand? Eugh, where's Mitsuru when she needs her...]
[Cognitive.... what? She's pretty sure she's never heard that word before in her life, but it's pretty easy to guess the meaning from context. Hmm... yeah, probably best not to mention the Kirijo Group, just in case Mitsuru shows up. That'll then be Mitsuru's problem to deal with.]
Yeah? [is all she says instead with another shrug against the rooftop before repeating,] All that stuff was before I joined... for me, it was just cleaning up the mess they made. Killing the Shadows, saving the world. All in a day's work, right?
[Her wry smile doesn't come anywhere near her eyes, but hey, at least she makes the effort.]
[The idea of coming into something already destroyed and being made to clean it up is... Unsettling, to say the least. He considers her a while.]
...I think I was basically the black chess piece in a really bad game of 5D chess played by Gods, or things that considered themselves Gods. So I guess we can both take solace in the fact that neither of us had a good time.
[She hums, turning her head sideways to turn that half-smile on him.]
It's nice to know I'm not alone, but it doesn't really make me feel better to know that you had a hard time, too.
[Regarding him a moment, she beckons him closer. Come here, you're too far away, she'd have to sit up to get within arm's reach and that's just too far away and too much effort right now.]
[He chuckles, smiling at the roof between them until she beckons him. He glances back up, then, almost meek about her beckoning, but scoots into her bubble with his shoulders bunched up around his ears.]
[As soon as he scoots close enough, she just rolls over and wraps her arms around his waist, smushing her face into his stomach for a hug.]
...Thanks, Akira. [It's a mumble against his shirt as she squeezes him with once again perhaps surprising strength.] Talking with you... helps. I hope it's the same for you.
--oh, [He starts to kind of shrink, less so away from her and more in a startled almost ticklish response, reflexively coiling until he forces himself to relax against her. His hand moves to her hair as soon as he's lax.]
...mmn. Having someone to talk to that... gets the parts of this that even my teammates didn't is something I never knew I really needed.
[She turns her head a little, just so it's easier to breathe. It kind of hurts her neck to do this, but it's warm and comfortable Enough that it's easier to just stay where she is. The turn-and-hug had seemed like a great idea until she was already in the middle of it, and now it's too late to back out.]
I wish you could meet the rest of my team. You'd really like them.
[It's meant as reassurance, mostly for him, partially for her. She leans forward, just enough to bonk her forehead lightly into his before finally scooting herself back with a little groan of stiff muscles.]
I mean it, though. Call me if there's anything you need.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-05-11 11:53 pm (UTC)[She rolls over, just a little with a soft noise of protest as she pillows her head in her arm and gazes at him. That's... a lot different than it was for her.]
SEES already existed before I even came back to Tatsumi Port Island. The night after I arrived at the dorm, a big Shadow attacked the building. I was able to grab an Evoker and...
[She raises two fingers to her temple in the form of a gun and "fires" it, tilting her head with the imaginary recoil. She's leaving out the fear and the dread and yet, the desire to see what would happen if she pulled that trigger. The acceptance that if it didn't work, she'd die.
She just shrugs.]
Since I had the potential, they wanted me on the team.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-12 12:07 am (UTC)[He watches her pantomime the Evoker and frowns, sitting up.] Whoa whoa, wait. You shoot yourself in the head with that thing? [He gestures toward her leg, where he last saw the Evoker at the party.]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-12 12:10 am (UTC)[Oh. Must not have. She blinks at him a few times, lowering her hand and pillowing her head back down comfortably on her arm.]
Yeah. The researchers said that summoning a Persona needed... intense psychological trauma, I think? The Evoker simulates that.
[Said like that's a normal thing. Honestly, to her? It is. If you can't access your own traumas at will, store-bought is fine.]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-13 01:38 am (UTC)[His brain catches back up with her second statement, and his heart skips several beats, less leaping and more bodily yeeting itself into the back of his throat in a way that squashes his voice.] Res-- what sort of researchers? [Adam Kamon is on the backs of his eyelids when he blinks, Takuto Maruki's sweet, disarming smile and as he hands his team boxes of off-brand apple juice--]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-13 01:47 am (UTC)As for the researchers... she shrugs.]
All that stuff was before I joined. It's a really long story about what they were working on... [She makes a bit of a face, rolling back over to stare up at the clouds. Please don't make her talk about it.] Just trust me when I say they're not really around anymore.
[For the most part, anyway. The people who'd been involved in the initial experiments had died in the explosion, but the Kirijo Group presumably still had staff on hand? Eugh, where's Mitsuru when she needs her...]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-13 02:18 am (UTC)Okay. That...'s a relief, I think. The research of cognitive pscience for me is... Bad news.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-13 11:53 am (UTC)Yeah? [is all she says instead with another shrug against the rooftop before repeating,] All that stuff was before I joined... for me, it was just cleaning up the mess they made. Killing the Shadows, saving the world. All in a day's work, right?
[Her wry smile doesn't come anywhere near her eyes, but hey, at least she makes the effort.]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 01:25 am (UTC)...I think I was basically the black chess piece in a really bad game of 5D chess played by Gods, or things that considered themselves Gods. So I guess we can both take solace in the fact that neither of us had a good time.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 01:31 am (UTC)[She hums, turning her head sideways to turn that half-smile on him.]
It's nice to know I'm not alone, but it doesn't really make me feel better to know that you had a hard time, too.
[Regarding him a moment, she beckons him closer. Come here, you're too far away, she'd have to sit up to get within arm's reach and that's just too far away and too much effort right now.]
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 01:34 am (UTC)...yeah, I don't enjoy mutual wound-licking much.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 01:39 am (UTC)...Thanks, Akira. [It's a mumble against his shirt as she squeezes him with once again perhaps surprising strength.] Talking with you... helps. I hope it's the same for you.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 01:43 am (UTC)...mmn. Having someone to talk to that... gets the parts of this that even my teammates didn't is something I never knew I really needed.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 01:46 am (UTC)[She turns her head a little, just so it's easier to breathe. It kind of hurts her neck to do this, but it's warm and comfortable Enough that it's easier to just stay where she is. The turn-and-hug had seemed like a great idea until she was already in the middle of it, and now it's too late to back out.]
I wish you could meet the rest of my team. You'd really like them.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 02:03 am (UTC)Same. For mine, and yours.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-14 06:53 pm (UTC)I'm gonna probably... head back to the farmhouse and take a real nap. You gonna be okay?
no subject
Date: 2023-05-15 12:51 am (UTC)I won't lie and say I know for sure, but. I'll manage. [A grin-- tired, weary, but honest.] I always do.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-15 11:53 pm (UTC)[It's meant as reassurance, mostly for him, partially for her. She leans forward, just enough to bonk her forehead lightly into his before finally scooting herself back with a little groan of stiff muscles.]
I mean it, though. Call me if there's anything you need.