![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
ɪɴʙᴏx [ᴇxᴘɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴ]
inbox
voice ✦ video ✦ text ✦ action
[The tub is hardly meant to hold in two people, especially someone like them who're both more on the taller side of the spectrum. But they'll make it work, like always. Goro slots right between Akira's limbs, leaning in and allowing himself to be engulfed in the warm embrace. The softness of the moment is just almost too much for him to bear. His heart feels heavy and tight when he hears Akira's breathing next to his ear.
He feels so... tame. It's almost uncharacteristic for him. Or at least that's what he thinks. Not too long ago he would rather drown Akira in the damn tub than accept this. The softness, gentle adoration.
A good moment passes when Goro doesn't say anything, slowly drawing idle pictures on Akira's arms as he lulls into the comfort and peacefulness. Heck, both of them probably need it after everything just went down. Eyes closed he finally opens his mouth.]
Was it like what you thought it'd be like?
He feels so... tame. It's almost uncharacteristic for him. Or at least that's what he thinks. Not too long ago he would rather drown Akira in the damn tub than accept this. The softness, gentle adoration.
A good moment passes when Goro doesn't say anything, slowly drawing idle pictures on Akira's arms as he lulls into the comfort and peacefulness. Heck, both of them probably need it after everything just went down. Eyes closed he finally opens his mouth.]
Was it like what you thought it'd be like?
[He may have been dozing, just slightly, between the heat of the bath and the comfort of being tangled up in Goro from behind, but he hums at the question, lifting his head slowly and blinking his eyes open.]
Mmmn, yes and no. People make sex out to be this huge earth-shattering thing, and I've known it really isn't, but... It felt natural, in a weird way. [He hooks his chin over Goro's shoulder.] Like we're puzzle pieces meant to fit together.
Mmmn, yes and no. People make sex out to be this huge earth-shattering thing, and I've known it really isn't, but... It felt natural, in a weird way. [He hooks his chin over Goro's shoulder.] Like we're puzzle pieces meant to fit together.
The act itself isn't complicated, yes. But yet it is listed in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right in middle if I remember correctly. Sex and intimacy are mystified despite being one of the basic human needs. [So how about that wikipedia talk...] But at the same time they're tools of power and used to against destroying others. Fascinating, isn't it? The duality of it all.
[He chuckles again, nosing his way through Goro's hair to press a kiss to the side of his neck.] You're being a textbook again. [A beat, and he frowns.] That isn't meant to be taken offensively, by the way. I like it.
[He settles against him again, humming, and nods.] I think people put too much of a stigma on sex and intimacy. Like there isn't really a "right" way to do it, and you aren't more or less of a person if you do or don't have it.
[He settles against him again, humming, and nods.] I think people put too much of a stigma on sex and intimacy. Like there isn't really a "right" way to do it, and you aren't more or less of a person if you do or don't have it.
Hm. Maybe you should catch up on your reading, then. [He sighs and leans his head back, craning his neck so that his throat is exposed more to Akira. He wishes he could stretch properly. He'll be sure to look into bigger tubs for their next living arrangements... Ew, is he making future plans now?]
Well yes. Those in power control the weak by labeling our needs one way or another. It's all political. [He hums quietly and goes silent for a bit again. 'Fixing' those in power were Akira's job, making the world better place one asshole at time. Not that Goro actually believed that the mess called humanity could be fixed but whatever.]
...It was more or less what I thought it be like. Aside from you looking me like that.
Well yes. Those in power control the weak by labeling our needs one way or another. It's all political. [He hums quietly and goes silent for a bit again. 'Fixing' those in power were Akira's job, making the world better place one asshole at time. Not that Goro actually believed that the mess called humanity could be fixed but whatever.]
...It was more or less what I thought it be like. Aside from you looking me like that.
[He hums again, nodding.] Does it count if I ask you to read it to me? [Akira would be positively molten with happiness if he knew Goro were even remotely making plans for a future. His involvement notwithstanding, a Goro who thinks of future scenarios is a Goro hopeful of having a future. It's all he wants for him, really.]
[He wrinkles his nose as the notion of politics, and lapses into companionable silence with him.]
[He chuckles softly.] You might wanna get used to that.
[He wrinkles his nose as the notion of politics, and lapses into companionable silence with him.]
[He chuckles softly.] You might wanna get used to that.
You'd really listen me to read you theory of humanistic psychology? [Press x to doubt! He knows you'd fall asleep, sir. And while political sciences are interest of his they've both had enough of that world for a life time.
The silence is, oddly enough, comforting between them despite the vulnerable nature of their topic. Normally it'd Make him trash and withdraw away, warning the other to stay away. It makes Goro briefly ponder what Dazai had told him few days prior. About Akira and the light he caried. Being around a man like that will change you.
He tilts his head to the side and pouts at him.]
One day I will take your eyes.
The silence is, oddly enough, comforting between them despite the vulnerable nature of their topic. Normally it'd Make him trash and withdraw away, warning the other to stay away. It makes Goro briefly ponder what Dazai had told him few days prior. About Akira and the light he caried. Being around a man like that will change you.
He tilts his head to the side and pouts at him.]
One day I will take your eyes.
Edited 2023-08-30 08:39 (UTC)
No. You'll have to find someone else to read you a bed time story. [Studying is important to him.
At the sight of that smile Goro lifts his hand from the bath and sprinkles a few droplets of water to Akira's face.]
I'll tie you to a post and leave you stranded, idiot.
At the sight of that smile Goro lifts his hand from the bath and sprinkles a few droplets of water to Akira's face.]
I'll tie you to a post and leave you stranded, idiot.
Edited 2023-08-30 22:46 (UTC)
[Oh. Well, he didn't expect Akira to bring up events of the last winter now that were having fun. That's what they were doing, right? Stupid, domestic bantering that couples do. Or so it registers in Goro's brain.
He's almost jealous of the way Akira can just bring up this subject so freely, without feeling the awful pang of anxiety and anger. PSTD? Maybe, who even knows after this. There's still a lot he needs to talk to Akira about Maruki -- and about looming doom of their current situation.
But that can wait. Now he'll just splash the water at Akira properly.]
I can't remember why. I must've been really desperate. [Half-lie. As if it wasn't being with Akira that kept him sane during that time.]
He's almost jealous of the way Akira can just bring up this subject so freely, without feeling the awful pang of anxiety and anger. PSTD? Maybe, who even knows after this. There's still a lot he needs to talk to Akira about Maruki -- and about looming doom of their current situation.
But that can wait. Now he'll just splash the water at Akira properly.]
I can't remember why. I must've been really desperate. [Half-lie. As if it wasn't being with Akira that kept him sane during that time.]
[It's been a few days now that the Aldrip has returned back to its normal state. No more adventures in maze of trauma, facing the demons of their past and present. And needlessly to say, the experience of traversing through the dark unknown hadn't been exactly been pleasant gig, leaving most of people in Aldrip in rough shape. Akira and Goro included.
Now, Goro's always been more or less good at dealing with this shit -- depending on one's definition of 'good', of course. Carrying his own darkness on his shoulders, like a cape. So he bounced back to his feet quite quickly, partly because he felt it was out of necessity as Akira seemed to be taking the harder deal this time. When the sleepless nights started at first he hadn't thought much of it, after all it is normal react to previous events. On the second night he felt the pang of worry, watching Akira return to home exhausted from both work and sleepless night -- only to get up and start another in the morning, condition obviously worsening.
It's not that Goro hadn't pulled out similar stunts himself during this Detective Prince days, back when he had so much work to do that he simply didn't have time to sleep. But it also means he knows just how disorienting and taxing process it is to a body. Akira wouldn't last long without collapsing.
So, on the third night when they're lying on their shared bed in their now new home, (Goro had eventually agreed to ditch the ridiculous set up with two beds and just settle on one bigger one), Goro idly listens to the quietly howling wind blowing the leaves from the trees. A sign of seasons changing, quite calming to realize that this world even has something as normal as seasons. But more than that, he was paying attention to the body next to him, tossing and turning every once in a while.
Yet another sleepless night.
Goro takes a deep breath in, holds the air before blowing it out, his entire body moving along with flow of air. Then, he turns around on the bed to his side, to face his restless rival and brush some of the hair of his pale face.]
Penny for your thoughts?
Now, Goro's always been more or less good at dealing with this shit -- depending on one's definition of 'good', of course. Carrying his own darkness on his shoulders, like a cape. So he bounced back to his feet quite quickly, partly because he felt it was out of necessity as Akira seemed to be taking the harder deal this time. When the sleepless nights started at first he hadn't thought much of it, after all it is normal react to previous events. On the second night he felt the pang of worry, watching Akira return to home exhausted from both work and sleepless night -- only to get up and start another in the morning, condition obviously worsening.
It's not that Goro hadn't pulled out similar stunts himself during this Detective Prince days, back when he had so much work to do that he simply didn't have time to sleep. But it also means he knows just how disorienting and taxing process it is to a body. Akira wouldn't last long without collapsing.
So, on the third night when they're lying on their shared bed in their now new home, (Goro had eventually agreed to ditch the ridiculous set up with two beds and just settle on one bigger one), Goro idly listens to the quietly howling wind blowing the leaves from the trees. A sign of seasons changing, quite calming to realize that this world even has something as normal as seasons. But more than that, he was paying attention to the body next to him, tossing and turning every once in a while.
Yet another sleepless night.
Goro takes a deep breath in, holds the air before blowing it out, his entire body moving along with flow of air. Then, he turns around on the bed to his side, to face his restless rival and brush some of the hair of his pale face.]
Penny for your thoughts?
[The truth is the first night he really did try. He was exhausted-- mentally, physically, and spiritually, even Arsène was quiet in his mind. His head hurt and his heart ached, and he'd done his best to not be obvious in sitting in the shower with his face in his knees having it out with himself. He was pretty sure he hadn't cried like that since he was a kid, and scraping his knee falling off his bike had been the worst thing to ever happen to him.]
[He was mostly just glad he'd learned how to be quiet in every possible regard.]
[It translated to the way he had fallen asleep, for nearly an hour, crashed out face-first into his pillow beside Goro and become absolutely unconscious until his mind decided that was enough. He had too much going on upstairs, and for someone with such a commonly empty head, something needed to go. He awoke with a start, heart in his throat, and... Hadn't slept since.]
[That was three days ago now, and his body was heavy and leaden and he knew this wasn't sustainable, but every time he laid down to sleep his heartbeat would ratchet up into his throat and the fear of it all would keep him from sleeping. He did his best to stay quiet and still, to not disturb Goro, and go about his days like normal, but... Well. He should have known better than to escape the notice of someone like Goro for very long.]
[When he rolls toward him with a huffed sigh, Akira startles, and startles again when his hand moves to his hair in a starkly gentle gesture. His eyes are wide, sallow and sunken from his lack of proper rest for days, and reflexively he just shakes his head.] Haven't got any pennies-- sorry, did I wake you up?
[He was mostly just glad he'd learned how to be quiet in every possible regard.]
[It translated to the way he had fallen asleep, for nearly an hour, crashed out face-first into his pillow beside Goro and become absolutely unconscious until his mind decided that was enough. He had too much going on upstairs, and for someone with such a commonly empty head, something needed to go. He awoke with a start, heart in his throat, and... Hadn't slept since.]
[That was three days ago now, and his body was heavy and leaden and he knew this wasn't sustainable, but every time he laid down to sleep his heartbeat would ratchet up into his throat and the fear of it all would keep him from sleeping. He did his best to stay quiet and still, to not disturb Goro, and go about his days like normal, but... Well. He should have known better than to escape the notice of someone like Goro for very long.]
[When he rolls toward him with a huffed sigh, Akira startles, and startles again when his hand moves to his hair in a starkly gentle gesture. His eyes are wide, sallow and sunken from his lack of proper rest for days, and reflexively he just shakes his head.] Haven't got any pennies-- sorry, did I wake you up?
[Akira might excel in silence but that doesn't meant that Goro doesn't hear him. The noise within him is so obvious to him that Goro is almost surprised that he can't straight up hearing out the words playing out in his head. His red eyes study carefully Akira's face, fingers combing through the dark curls.]
That's not how it works, idiot. I give you a penny, you give me your thoughts. [He huffs, voice soft and careful despite the chastising words.] You didn't. I couldn't sleep.
That's not how it works, idiot. I give you a penny, you give me your thoughts. [He huffs, voice soft and careful despite the chastising words.] You didn't. I couldn't sleep.
You won't mind lending me the money, right. [Leeching of on Akira's salary like good trophy wife!
Goro lowers his hand a bit and snakes his fingers under Akira's fringe, feeling up his body temperature. He's a little warm, most likely from staying up too long, but it's nothing to be concerned about. At least yet.]
Only if you want some. [Tea is better choice than coffee. They don't need any more stimulants in their bodies at the moment. Although that makes him think of the small pill case he's hidden away, a little gift from Dazai.] If you want I can give you something to help you sleep.
Goro lowers his hand a bit and snakes his fingers under Akira's fringe, feeling up his body temperature. He's a little warm, most likely from staying up too long, but it's nothing to be concerned about. At least yet.]
Only if you want some. [Tea is better choice than coffee. They don't need any more stimulants in their bodies at the moment. Although that makes him think of the small pill case he's hidden away, a little gift from Dazai.] If you want I can give you something to help you sleep.
[His throat is the slightest bit scratchy, so Goro's insistence they only have tea if he wants some, too rings pleasantly in the back of his head. He smiles slowly, pushing himself up to his elbow.] Yeah, I'll have some, too.
[He pauses, frowning and not meeting Goro's eyes.] You know I don't have a hard time sleeping, silly.
[He pauses, frowning and not meeting Goro's eyes.] You know I don't have a hard time sleeping, silly.
[Goro's brows knit into a matching frown as Akira prompts himself up, still laying on the bed himself. The corners of lips draw back, forming a stressed and disapproving line.]
Could've fooled me. [He says, voice a few tones colder than what it was just now. Though it's not harsh, not yet. Well, Akira has a point but lack of sleep is a symptom of something. Not the cause. But he doesn't press on the subject and sits up next to Akira, hand reaching out back to touch his face.]
But fine. Which blend do you want?
Could've fooled me. [He says, voice a few tones colder than what it was just now. Though it's not harsh, not yet. Well, Akira has a point but lack of sleep is a symptom of something. Not the cause. But he doesn't press on the subject and sits up next to Akira, hand reaching out back to touch his face.]
But fine. Which blend do you want?
[He knows that tone. His expression pinches, the exhaustion in him too great for him to keep his face neutral, and he closes his eyes, leaning into Goro's hand.]
...no, you're right. It. [He pulls away, shaking his head.] I shouldn't lie to you, but it'll pass. [He stands, wobbling a little, and offers his hands.] Mint sounds nice.
...no, you're right. It. [He pulls away, shaking his head.] I shouldn't lie to you, but it'll pass. [He stands, wobbling a little, and offers his hands.] Mint sounds nice.
[He's not mad, just disappointed. Except not really. Goro knows he's like the last person to scold him from hiding the truth or shutting others away. It's real hypocritical of him to get frustrated by Akira's antics now but.. being left out of the loop, does make his chest ache.
But at the same he understands that sometimes one just needs to see these things through on their own. Doesn't make it any less sour, though.]
It's fine. [He shrugs and looks up from the bed, reaching out to grab Akira's hand] Do you want to drink it here or in the kitchen?
But at the same he understands that sometimes one just needs to see these things through on their own. Doesn't make it any less sour, though.]
It's fine. [He shrugs and looks up from the bed, reaching out to grab Akira's hand] Do you want to drink it here or in the kitchen?
[Goro allows himself to be pulled up from the bed, almost immediately wrapping his arms around Akira's waist to hold him close.
This kind of affection didn't come to him naturally like it does now, not prior the maze. Before, he only sought the contact ever so often. Not really knowing how to ask for it and being content with just staring at Akira's way, waiting for the other to read his mind. But ever since existing the maze, he was filled with the need of the other more than ever before. To be in Akira's space, touch him and feel his heart to beat on his chest.
Guess he's not as fine as he thinks he is after all]
If it's all the same to you, [He murmurs] I want you to wait here and I bring the tea. Ok?
This kind of affection didn't come to him naturally like it does now, not prior the maze. Before, he only sought the contact ever so often. Not really knowing how to ask for it and being content with just staring at Akira's way, waiting for the other to read his mind. But ever since existing the maze, he was filled with the need of the other more than ever before. To be in Akira's space, touch him and feel his heart to beat on his chest.
Guess he's not as fine as he thinks he is after all]
If it's all the same to you, [He murmurs] I want you to wait here and I bring the tea. Ok?
[He goes tense for a split second, startled by the immediate fold of Goro's limbs around him, but relaxing into the hold near-immediately. He sets his head on his shoulder and nods, his voice rough.] ...yeah, that's fine.
[When he goes to raise his head, the room swims, and he reaches out to steady himself on Goro's shoulder when he sways in his grasp. Oh. Did he just get noticeably warmer...?]
[When he goes to raise his head, the room swims, and he reaches out to steady himself on Goro's shoulder when he sways in his grasp. Oh. Did he just get noticeably warmer...?]
[There's no way he doesn't notice the shift in Akira. One hand moves from Akira's waist to his upper back to provide some support so that he won't freaking fall.
With a quiet curses slipping off him, he maneuvers Akira clumsily to sit back on the bed. There's a mild frustration present in his eyes now, but not really from genuine annoyance but more like from worry that doesn't quite know how to manifest itself properly.]
I'm going to get the damn tea. And if you've moved an inch from the bed you'll be sleeping the next month on floor. Got it?
[Not that he waits to hear Akira's answer. Now that he got his threat out there he walks away from the bedroom, heading straight to kitchen
It takes him a few minutes to get the water going on and another moment to search for the tea. Kitchen is Akira's domain so he's not too familiar with how things are there. But surely enough he manages to find what he's looking for. And about in ten minutes he has the tea brewed ready and poured in two cups. It'd be lying to say that the thought of drugging Akira's cup doesn't cross his mind, but shrugs it off almost immediately. He's not really violating Akira's trust like that, not yet at least.
He comes back to their shared bedroom, carrying two mugs that he places on the night stand on his side of the bed.]
With a quiet curses slipping off him, he maneuvers Akira clumsily to sit back on the bed. There's a mild frustration present in his eyes now, but not really from genuine annoyance but more like from worry that doesn't quite know how to manifest itself properly.]
I'm going to get the damn tea. And if you've moved an inch from the bed you'll be sleeping the next month on floor. Got it?
[Not that he waits to hear Akira's answer. Now that he got his threat out there he walks away from the bedroom, heading straight to kitchen
It takes him a few minutes to get the water going on and another moment to search for the tea. Kitchen is Akira's domain so he's not too familiar with how things are there. But surely enough he manages to find what he's looking for. And about in ten minutes he has the tea brewed ready and poured in two cups. It'd be lying to say that the thought of drugging Akira's cup doesn't cross his mind, but shrugs it off almost immediately. He's not really violating Akira's trust like that, not yet at least.
He comes back to their shared bedroom, carrying two mugs that he places on the night stand on his side of the bed.]
[Moving quickly disorients him, and he grasps Goro's arms tightly in alarm until he fusses about tea, at which point his hands move to the bed on either side of him to keep balance. He doesn't reply, because Goro's already fled to the kitchen, and Akira idly catalogues the sudden onset of things his body is experiencing.]
[He's fucking freezing, for one, which is as bizarre as it is dumb, given summer is still dragging ass about cooling off the temperatures outside and the fact that he's so rarely cold to begin with. He's only slightly dizzy, but moreso when he moves, so he opts to stay still and just look around the room without moving his head much.]
[Ultimately, the cold factor wins, and he flops sideways with a grunt to burrow his way into the bedding and sit back up like a weird oblong burrito, which is how Goro finds him upon return.] 'm sorry, I'm probably fine.
[He's fucking freezing, for one, which is as bizarre as it is dumb, given summer is still dragging ass about cooling off the temperatures outside and the fact that he's so rarely cold to begin with. He's only slightly dizzy, but moreso when he moves, so he opts to stay still and just look around the room without moving his head much.]
[Ultimately, the cold factor wins, and he flops sideways with a grunt to burrow his way into the bedding and sit back up like a weird oblong burrito, which is how Goro finds him upon return.] 'm sorry, I'm probably fine.
Page 43 of 60